.Editor's Keep in mind: The following is the message of a character from Trip 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reassessing the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't written significantly regarding specifics of the mission in the course of the month I have actually been listed below, mainly for 2 factors: the initial being that there has actually been actually quite little bit of opportunity to do that sort of composing, and also because I'm unsure exactly how relaxed I am actually discussing ideas I show to friends and family along with the remainder of the planet.Well, obviously the planet transformed today. What I state or carry out is actually very small contrasted to the value of what occurred to our nation today when it was actually assaulted through ... by whom? Terrorists is all we understand, I suppose. Tough to recognize at whom to drive our rage and also anxiety ...I had actually just completed a variety of duties this morning, one of the most lengthy being actually the physical exams of all team members. In a private discussion observing that, the air travel surgeon told me they were actually possessing a quite poor day on the ground. I possessed no tip ...He illustrated the condition to me as finest he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually thrown for a loop, at that point terrified. My initial thought and feelings was actually that this had not been an actual chat, that I was actually still listening to one of my Tom Clancy strips. It simply really did not seem to be possible on this incrustation in our country. I could not even think of the particulars, even just before the news of additional devastation began can be found in.Vladimir came over fairly promptly, noticing that one thing extremely serious was being actually explained. I swung Michael into the module too. They were also astonished and also stunned. After our experts authorized off, I tried to clarify to Vladimir as well as Michael as best I might the prospective magnitude of this particular act of terror in midtown New york and at the Government. They plainly understood and also were actually extremely compassionate.I eyed the Globe Map on the computer system to find where over the planet our company were actually as well as discovered that our team were happening southeast out of Canada and would be actually overlooking New England in a handful of moments. I zipped around the terminal up until I found a home window that will offer me a sight of New York City and also grabbed the closest camera. It occurred to be a video camera, and I was appearing south from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes appeared to have a strange flower to it at the base of the pillar that was actually streaming south of the city. After reviewing one of the newspaper article our experts merely obtained, I believe our company were actually taking a look at NY around the moment of, or not long after, the failure of the 2nd high rise. How dreadful ...I swung the cam the whole time the East Shore to the south to see if I can observe some other smoke around Washington, or even anywhere else, yet nothing was visible.It was actually rather complicated to think of job after that, though we had some to perform, yet on the upcoming track our company went across the United States additional southern. All 3 of us were actually working one or two electronic cameras to attempt to acquire viewpoints of The big apple or even Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, but no details source could be found. Everything appeared awesome from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can not visualize the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Aside from the mental impact of our nation being dealt with as well as thousands of our consumers as well as maybe some good friends being gotten rid of, one of the most frustrating feeling being where I am is one of solitude.Next time ... I think the fatigue and mental pressure received the best of me. I could not keep awake and also remain to create. Today was actually still tough, yet our team started acquiring even more information, plus we had the respect of speaking straight with the Facility Director, Roy Estess, who assured us that the ground groups would continue to function and ensure our security, in addition to the secure procedure of the Station. Our company likewise heard from our Manager, Mr. Goldin, who included that the partners in the System are actually all completely committed to carrying on safe functions and assistance. These were actually certainly never questions for me. I understand all these individuals! The ground groups have been unbelievably helpful, quite understanding of the effect of the headlines, as well as have actually tried to be as valuable as possible. They have actually all been incredibly specialist and also centered though I can't picture the diversion of the type of headlines being available in as well as the thought and feelings that federal government buildings may be vulnerable. They certainly never avoided a beat, even when moving nerve center. And also a team of senior employees and buddies provided us a quite comprehensive briefing on what was recognized and what was being actually carried out in the government and also at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was incredibly valuable and also type of them to perform in the midst of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has likewise been supporting and also beneficial, trying to uplink news articles when our personal assets were unusable, and pointing out kind words ...My crewmates have been actually great, too. They know it is actually been a difficult day for me as well as the folks on the ground, and they have actually attempted to be as also keeled and handy as feasible. Michael also repaired me my favored Borscht soup for dinner. And also they give me loads of area to assume when I required it. They are actually very compassionate and also of course outraged at whoever would certainly perform this.I recognize numerous individuals in Washington, so many folks that travel to DC and NYC, a lot of that are actually pilots, that I experienced certain I would receive a minimum of a couple of pieces of trouble over the upcoming handful of times. I got the very first one today when I discovered that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that hit the Pentagon was actually Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I encountered Chic during the course of cadet summer months when we remained in the D&B with each other, and our team had great deals of classes all together. I can't picture what he must of experienced, as well as currently I listen to that he may possess increased additionally than our experts can easily even think of through possibly stopping his aircraft from being actually the one to deal with the White Residence. What a dreadful loss, however I make certain Chic was actually dealing with bravely to the end. As well as tears do not move the very same precede ...It's tough to define just how it experiences to be the only American fully off the planet each time such as this. The feeling that I should be there with every one of you, handling this, aiding somehow, is actually overwhelming. I know that our experts get on the limit (or beyond) of a terrible switch in the history of the world. Many things are going to certainly never be the same once more after September 11, 2001. Not simply for the manies thousand and hundreds of folks straight affected by these hideous process of violence, yet possibly for we all. Our company are going to find our own selves really feeling in different ways concerning lots of factors, featuring perhaps area expedition, regrettably.It is actually horrible to see smoke cigarettes pouring coming from cuts in your very own country from such a great viewpoint. The dichotomy of being on a space capsule devoted to improving daily life on the earth and watching lifestyle being damaged by such witting, horrendous process is jolting to the psyche, no matter that you are actually. And the knowledge that everything will certainly be different than when our experts launched by the opportunity our team land is a little bit of disconcerting. I have confidence in our nation and also in our management that our team are going to do whatever possible to much better safeguard her and also our family members, and also to deliver fair treatment for what has actually been actually done. I have peace of mind that the excellent people at NASA will definitely perform everything required to proceed our purpose safely as well as return our team properly at the right time. And I skip each of you quite. I can't be there with you face to face, as well as our team have a very long way to head to accomplish our mission, yet be actually certain that my center is with you, as well as understand you reside in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the last letter ... Fortunately, it's been a hectic week up here. As well as to confirm that, like our nation, our experts are continuing our desired path with business customarily (as high as possible). Tonight the most recent add-on to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment will definitely be released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday evening (United States time), it will definitely dock with us, at a slot never ever made use of just before on the nadir side of the Solution Component. This new component is going to give our team another spot to dock a Progression or even Soyuz and are going to deliver a large airlock along with two useable hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan suits, which our team will certainly carry out a few of before our company get home.The issue before in coping with today was actually insufficient information. The trouble today is actually a lot of. It came all at once when e-mail was repaired, and also there is actually inadequate time to review it all! Plus it is actually also difficult to deal with all of it simultaneously. Yet I enjoy acquiring it, as well as I definitely value the fantastic characters of help and friendship I am acquiring.Our experts are prospering aboard, acquiring our work carried out, and speaking about points. Last evening our team had a lengthy dialogue over dinner concerning the value of these activities, the feasible actions to adhere to, and also what should be actually carried out. After supper, Michael challenged telling me that every e-mail he got from buddies in Russia stated particularly to tell me just how sorry they were actually that this happened, extending their condolences, and talking to just how I was carrying out. Vladimir instructed me the Russian term for "acknowledgements" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Urban area. (Both the Russian and also the English words are considerably extremely lengthy to pronounce simply.) Extremely kind individuals.For the final pair of times, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to transfer live broadcasts of broadcast news about the activity and linked stories, to ensure I was actually well notified. Every specialist who has started the line to cover an operation or a problem has at some point extended introductions to me with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our company that because of the wedding of remembrance in the US, all day individuals had actually been delivering blossoms and also lining all the wall structures of the United States consulate in Moscow, as well as this night they were actually lighting candles in the road outside the consular office. Just how the world has transformed.Folks all over seem to be to acknowledge the senselessness and also scary within this attack. And the tremendous reduction. Moscow has actually managed these type of issues in the last few years with apartment or condo and also metro bombings, so they are as nervous to do away with this risk as we are. However the bottom collection is actually that there are actually great individuals everywhere that desire to live in peace. I check out that a kid inquired, "The United States is therefore really good to other nations, we regularly assist everybody, how can they despise our team a great deal?".I hope the instance of collaboration and also rely on that this space capsule and all individuals in the plan display daily will sooner or later encourage the rest of the world to operate similarly. They must!Unfortunately, we won't be piloting over the United States during the time individuals are lighting candles. Do not recognize if our experts can observe that in any case. Our team carried out, nevertheless, see a really unique and also attractive sight a couple of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz enhancer. Our company were surpassing it as well as it emerged concerning 3 mins after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sunshine hit our station, so it was still unaware. It resembled a sizable comet along with a straight, vast rear silhouetted versus the dark planet below. In spite of some bad lighting fixtures for a while as the sun reached our home window at a low viewpoint, I managed some video recording of it as to begin with our company passed the spacecraft, and after that viewed it begin to mesmerize as it obtained elevation and also speed. I shot till principal motor cutoff and enhancer separation developed just as we moved toward sunrise on the Mountain ranges. A remarkable sight in an unforgettable full week ...Lifestyle takes place, even precede. We are actually listed here to keep ... Frank.